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What does the UKs highest mountain have to do with Mental Health Awareness month?
Beginning the ascent of Càrn Mòr Dearg (left). Ben Nevis’ north face is seen on the right | April 2023 | Shot on Ilford Delta 400
After walking 96 miles through the Scottish Highlands and arriving by foot into Ft William, I checked the forecast for the following day: Wednesday April 26th had limited chance of rain, low winds, and was slated to be sunny one. It was a day considered to be very, very rare in the Western Highlands. I was granted a lucky weather window to climb the UK’s highest peak via the Càrn Mòr Dearg Arête route, the much more challenging of it’s two hiking paths. While to me it was neither an overly technical or difficult climb in such conditions, the munro reminded me that I was never far from it’s dangers either. One misstep into steep scree can send you sliding indefinitely. Getting too close to a snow covered cornice (a false ledge made of ice and snow) can send you flying 4,000+ feet to the grounds below. The arête had me on all fours at times ascending 1500ft at around a 60degree angle. My mind had no room to think of anything other than precise focus for the present moment. In these treks that dance a fine line between safety and danger, I have forgotten about my anxiety and depression; the diseases that sit with me from time to time in the modern world of my day to day.
Last month was Mental Health Awareness Month, a month dedicated to breaking stigma, talking openly about mental illness and mental health, helping others to not feel alone, and educating individuals and companies in how to create social and work environments that support mental wellbeing. I subject to you however that we should openly talk about it every month, and continue to not only normalize talk about mental illness, but work to create better climates for mental wellness. My name is Laura. I’m a professional photographer of 15 years. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and it’s perfectly acceptable for me to so say out loud. It can be a disability, as real and serious as any other, however I have largely learned how to live with it and keep it at bay. Sometimes I hardly have a care in the world and am bursting with creativity and energy, and sometimes I suffer the opposite.
My mental illnesses have sat squarely at the crossroads of biological and environmental. The women on my dad’s side are often prone to mental illness, my PCOS can deeply affect mental health, and I have a high stress job in an industry where respect for photographers, our time and talents, is not often guaranteed. My industry has also radically changed even since I started, and some times those changes (particularly attitudes about photography and what photographers do/are worth) are painful. What I’ve learned however, is how to mitigate these things and be attuned to them when they crop up; to do what I can to not let them control my life. Here are some things that have worked for me:
I exercise most every day, and regularly hike and backpack.
I get out in the sunshine and prioritize being outside when I can.
I eat healthy and drink lots of water.
I have struggled with anxiety, so I am currently transitioning away from coffee and leaning into tea.
I have a separate phone line through an app for my business so that I can have control over when clients choose to call or text. This also helps me to cultivate a healthy work/life balance.
I have very hard work boundaries and do not “work all the time”. Trust me, that just leads to burnout. I know from experience.
I give myself grace when I am sick, because it’s okay to be sick sometimes. No one is immune to illness.
I try to practice gratitude daily for things I am grateful for.
I am currently back on a very low dose medication while I recover from a string of panic attacks and subsequent depressive episode, and am feeling much better as of this writing. I support getting on medication if it is helpful to you! I know it’s been very helpful to me in certain seasons.
Càrn Mòr Dearg, looking out to the north face of Ben Nevis | April 2023 | Shot on Ilford Delta 400
Quite frankly, we cannot talk about mental illness if we do not address things that can trigger or make worse someone’s mental health. The below suggestions unfortunately stem from things I’ve endured, but I hope these thoughts will help folks to be more mindful in both our professional and personal interactions:
Treat everyone with respect. As the old saying goes, “you do not know what someone is going through”
Be careful how you talk to others online or digitally. Always remember there is a REAL person on the other end of that text, comment, email, message, etc.
Avoid using manipulation or strong arm techniques with others to get your way.
Choose a collaborative approach to work and be mindful to not treat photographers as a camera technician who is doing your bidding. You probably hired them for other reasons than their owning cameras.
If you’re on a set with a photographer, respect their space, visions, and focus with the talent/project at hand. This isn’t a time to take a phone call on a set just feet from the photographer, delegitimize photographers or their work through actions and words (IE suggesting AI as an alternative to the images they are making or stepping in front of the photographer to take cell phone photos, comparing their photographs to “things they can already do on their phone”, paying little and expecting everything), etc.
Professional photographers are awesome people, but we aren’t superheroes. If something happens that isn’t in our control or is out of the bounds of a signed contract, don’t take things out on us.
Support the idea of people having space to have time off and vacations. Celebrate it.
Give freelancers time to respond to your emails, especially inquiries. Sometimes our workloads are heavy and unless it’s urgent, it may take a few days to respond (if not longer).
Pay artists on time, and dont make us send 10+ emails about needing to get paid before something is done. This happens all the time to artists, and it’s never okay.
Respect the concept of weekends and holidays and “standard work hours” for those around you, even if you do not personally adhere to them.
Ask yourself, am I offering the people around me an environment that supports mental wellness?
Ask yourself, am I lending myself to a culture of respect for others?
Don’t assume mental illness is an easy fix or that people are not trying to better themselves. I’ve found that people battling mental illness are some of the strongest people you’ll ever meet.
Remember that mental health resources involve having the money for treatments or therapy and that this can be VERY hard to access for many people.
If someone opens up to you about mental illness, do not hold it against them or make reductive comments. Instead, treat it like any other illness someone may have, and understand that treatment can be costly and take time for results to show. Be patient and proactive with that person.
Depression is not someone feeling sad or lazy. Anxiety is not attributed to someone who is weak. They can be full body diseases that affect sleep, eating patterns, physical strength, energy, brain fog, focus, muscle and limb twitching, immune system, and more.
Remember that YOU can make a positive difference in your personal and work dealings with others, and it all starts with care and respect for the person on the other end of that email, phone call, or in-person interaction.
I know as I write this, I have been very far from perfect in both my handling of my mental wellness and how I’ve been with others at times. I can easily look back and see so many times that I myself have said things that were hurtful, and saying I’m regretful would be an understatement. But I am trying to grow from those things and be better to myself and to others; we all deserve a hell of a lot more grace in this world.
This May hasn’t been a success story for my own mental health, though every day I got up and kept trying. Mental wellness is not a linear story with a pot of gold at the end of a proverbial rainbow. It’s a story of highs, lows, triumph, and challenge. The key may be to learn to persist and know your triggers along the way. You will have great days, and you will have hard ones. What matters is you keep going, and you find your reasons to do so. Those are more precious than gold. We are now into the month of June. As of this writing, I am doing very well now and am incredibly grateful.
Grampian Mountain Range, taken while climbing the arête | April 2023 | Shot on Ilford Delta 400
And so, as I rested on boulders and scree on the arête on my way to the summit of the UK’s highest mountain, a small white bird came to sit on a rock beside me. It lingered, I took a photo on my phone, soaked in the moment, and off it went. When I got back home to the states, I’d find out I had come close to a Snow Bunting, a vulnerable and beautiful mountain bird. I’m under the impression based on some reading, that the sighting in April was a lucky one. In a whimsical way, that little white bird gave me permission to keep going, and so I did. Find your little white bird and hold onto it, my friends.
Self Timer Portrait on the Summit of Ben Nevis, taken after summiting via the Càrn Mòr Dearg Arête route | April 2023 | Shot on Ilford Delta 400